.......................... mugging..........................

till the EOY exams are over.................

*sucky chinese results.

Hey! I am back from my cousin's house! =) The ceremony went quite well, hee, I think my cousin's friends are very evil! They bought a big bottle of Dutch Milk, opened the cap and poured soya sauce and salt in it and shook it hard! Haha, but I think they added only a little bit of everything, so the groom didn't sense that anything was wrong and gulped it down! Pray that he doesn't get a stomachache!

I took plenty of photos that my camera's battery went low. But, I captured most of the scenes! =) Bringing it on Monday to show Han!

We will be heading down to Le Meridien at Orchard Road in the evening for their wedding dinner! This is my first time attending a wedding dinner at such a posh restaurant! Feeling quite excited... =)

Tomorrow's is English and HCL Paper 1. Good luck to all and jiayou!

Did a lot of work today that my head hurts now... boo hoo!

Hope that Bio Prac went well for all! *Weekiat, so how was it?

Yea! Tomorrow's my cousin's wedding! I will be waking up at 6am and hurrying over before 6.30am! Han is coming too, just to watch the entire ceremony and of course, not forgetting the part where the groom gets teased with all sorts of tough questions! -winks- I think she will enjoy herself!

We went to This Fashion (saw Fang Zhou and Bee Ying there; saw Jackson on his way home after a haircut) and BEGA to help my sis and mum choose clothes for the wedding dinner tomorrow. Called Han and she came along too, with her newly-bought yellow dress for me + class photos! Oh man, I just love her! =) She hasn't even worn it and yet willingly shared it with me!!!! Thanks!

I accompanied her to have her dinner at a Japanese restaurant next to This Fashion. I was so damn tempted by the food lar, but I didn’t have any money with me... so I could only watch...

And yes, Happy Birthday Yue Qiu!

Thanks to Nalan for bringing the pair of earrings for me! =) *Go read my sms and you know what I wrote...

Han had a headache at the end of day... Poor thing. I rubbed on some oilment on her forehead and gave it a massage. *Hope you are feeling better now! =) And yes, I have to apologize to you for having to hang up the phone so soon after you called. My mother was just beside me. I know that you called to share the joy about THAT with me. I feel happy for you too. I am glad that he appreciates your effort. (-winks-, remember this?) So sorry...*

I think Han had a headache because she thought of a tune for my lyrics... ahhhh... so sorry, I forgot the tune too. I am the cause of the headache. -bleah- =( Thanks for being so serious about it!

Gave 3L the survey for choosing the top 7 most popular stalls in our canteen as our new holding school can only accommodate up to 7 stalls. Stall 8 emerged as the winner with 19 votes. That's Han's favourite stall selling tom-yam soup! =) Between Stall 9 and 10 (drinks and snacks stalls), Stall 9 was obviously the winner! Stupid stall 10, sells food with fungus grown on them and titbits that are expired. Imagine that!

Lin lao shi didn't come today. I think Han was the happiest of all! =) I believe all the C Lit students were celebrating...

Weekiat, thanks for Fish's poster! I like it very much... by the way, why did you give it to me? =) Planning to paste it in the bedroom.

Today's folk dance was fun! hahahx... Virginia Real. *opps, sorry, I didn't know that your elbow was sensitive. I knew you were trying to tell me something, but the music was so loud, I didn't hear you. I try not to touch ya?

AND YES, the Chinese comprehension test was kind of hard lar. After school, we still had to stay back late to complete Ms Chan's assignment. -hate it-

Han has steamboat for dinner! woah... -drools-

*You seemed really pissed off in the bus. What happened? I called you but you just went faster and faster in your footsteps. =(

The committee for Zhong Qiu Jie had a treat of pizza today from Xie lao shi and Mdm Tia. But Xie lao shi was the one who paid over a 100 bucks for the pizzas. Han and I went to thank her! She seemed quite pleased~

Finally remembered to bring Han's Teens home to read. =) *Thanks!

Fish's Wings of Love really rocks man~ Her songs are really nice! =)

It's raining, it's falling... [my neighbour of a higher floor came down and gave us a box of snow-skin mooncakes. yummy... so nice of them to do so!]

Chinese test tomorrow...

Just came home from a game of badminton with my younger sis. We went to test out our new badminton racquets my mum got for us. The old one broke! -_-''' Anyway, the badminton racquets were good, although they are quite cheap. heez.. I shan't mention the price here!

Thanks Wee kiat for lending me Fish's CD Wings of love! :) But he made me promise that I have to return it to him by next Mon!!! =( Under PRESSURE, I succumbed and agreed. I shouldn't have. humph. ha. Just kidding!

Mmm... well, today's an exciting day for Han Han! She couldn't sit still in lessons and was fidgeting in her seat... We all know the reason ya? So... she managed to get into the school, looking like a potential terrorist. o_O Long story there. But I guess it was worthwhile for her and she didn't regret that. =) *I hope he appreciates your effort!

Ah yes, wanna thank Han for lending me her orange dress. I haven't tried it yet, but after my bath I will! =)

Today's Physics Practical really sucks like hell. I realized what the question is asking for but it's too late. I wasted 10 minutes. Jiaying broke down after the examination. I sensed that she wasn't her usual self, so I went over, put my hand across her shoulders AND streams of tears came flowing down. We comforted her but she still could not stop crying. Hiaz... Hope she's feeling better now.

Yesterday's Zhong Qiu Jie was quite successful! I particularly love the short video that we made! Hahax... I have a sense of satisfaction. By the way, I was the narrator. Xiao Yun agreed to copy it into CDs for everyone! Yea! Han was really enthusiatic about the entire programme... and she won herself a mug and 2 biscuits but gave one biscuit to me! thanks dear! We went home together with Yue Qiu, singing Jay's songs along the way, loudly! Many people stared. o_O I am dead tired and couldn't stop sweating once I reached home.

I wanna thank Nalan here!!! Heez... here's what she wrote in her blog:
"lastly, wanna say to NEO NEO. TC frend, dun give urself too much stress, everything will b fine one... jux relax.kkk?" That was really sweet of you! =)

Jie too... for her undying support for me! You too must jiayou for promos! It's just around the corner. Let's work hard together. Marlinsea, for his words of encouragment in the tagboard. Han for always being there for me, Lay too! I love the both of you! =) All to all who helped me tide over the difficult period, THANKS!

Well, I want to thank Han (dear), Lay, Nalan, Weekiat and Jackson for their words of encouragement in the tagboard! :) Yup, I am definitely feeling much better after much talking and crying. I just hope to continue with the good work and be better. I have a goal in mind and I want to work towards that. So, pick myself up and go forward. I believe I can achieve.

Han said that her English Oral exam sucks. Well, I think mine is no better. It sucks totally too. Can't bear the thought of getting that filthy paper back into my hands again, after Ms Chan's completely sarcastic remarks thrown at us. Mmm, something really terrible happened to Han. She was under her block when bird shit came flying from nowhere and plopped itself comfortably on her lips. AND yes, she freaked out. She was screaming in the phone just now. -bleah- What a bad experience! And, Lin lao shi and Xie lao shi were surprisingly concerned for Han's injured leg. A Chinese physician too... I wonder what's up.

Heez.. want to congratulate Ernest (3G) for getting a perfect L1R5 score of 6!!!!!!! He was still saying, "Erm... my L1R5 is ok lar," before whispering into my ears camly, "I got a 6." (He doesn't want people to think that he's boasting, although he has the quality to do so.) My eyes widened. wow. -stunned- See my kindergarden mate's perfect results?

Dear, thanks for listening to me talk so long about such serious stuff. I guess I am really too stressed out. Yep, I almost thought I wouldn't have the energy to carry on. Why is it so that people can remain so happy and cheerful without having any worries? One day, just one day, to be myself. Throwing everything in the wind without regrets. Will that dream ever come true? I need someone to reassure me of the things that I am trying so hard to achieve. I feel so tired and bruised. Screaming on top of my lungs and nobody in the room hears my plea. I am this girl who is buried under layers and layers of dirt, and the more I dug, the more painful it is.

I sit here enveloping myself with this evanescent shadow of loneliness, hoping that it would just sweep away. I am so tired of pretending that I am tough, I am so tired of pretending I don't need anybody. [cried typing this entry]

Alas, I found my beloved lost watch back! And it turned out to be hidden in my waterbottle's container. Thanks dear for abandoning the IRP period to accompany me in the search of my lost watch. hee i think I need to make a trip down to the General Office to cancel my report. Dear even looked through the space between the wall and the lockers... really thanks for worrying about it with me, even though it doesn't concern you. :) I feel much more secure with it!

Mrs Goh is so sweet... I just simply love her. I feel that she has known me for ages, she saw through me, the true me. Now, I feel so transparent. She sensed my stress even without talking to me about it.
[extract from an email]
"I am very worried for you cos you always give yourself a lot of stress and you always want to seek for perfection. Dun be over-stressed cos studies is not everything in life. Your family and friends will always be there for you. Of course, not forgetting me as well."

Got back progress report today. L1R5: 13. Failed Physics. Overall, everything can be better.
I will try again.

Well, don't bother asking me. I just think that my oral exam sucks. Why does she have to interrupt whenever I talk about something in the picture? Damn. She broke up my train of thoughts. I can't imagine how my overall score will look like now.

Kong Aik became a member of 3L during Xie lao shi's period, with Mrs Look's company. I hope he will adjust well here and try to work harder. Jiayou.

Han scalded her hand while cooking. Called me and was howling away in pain. I told her to put ice cubes on the injured part and it helped. *Hope you are alright now.

Anyway, at our art outing on Sunday (yesterday) at Chinese Garden, we went on a saga seed (xiang si dou) spree. With the help of my maid and my younger sis, I collected a full bottle of it. So proud of myself. It is hidden deep within the grass. I even found 5 in a row. =) Nice red. I wanna collect more!

[Damn depressing. Don't talk to me.]

Yea, cooking spagatti for lunch! I just helped to cut the hotdogs before coming for a quick entry!

Han called me several times this morning... she met a lizard in her cooking pot. Her voice was choked and hoarse. You may think it's something small, not worth fussing over, but Han is very afraid of insects/animals, no matter how big or small. Well, my brave laogong overcame her fears and got rid of the lizard without my help. She believed that she can do it... and eventually she did. *I hope you are really feeling better. Maybe go get some sleep first. You will feel better this way. =)

See, confidence proves to be a great driving force!

I just came home from a haircut. Geez. My fringe is much shorter than before. I really hope I look ok...

We were at ah ma's house in the morning for our project. Well, it's really tiring to face the computer screen for the whole afternoon. I am really dead beat now. Yep, so when we passed that station, Han and I remained silent. Let's put the past behind us now and move forward. I realized that staying at the same spot, lingering in that area, will cause more pain and harm to ourselves.

I think we really enjoyed ourselves at ah ma's house. =) With entertainment from Han, websites etc, it was indeed a fun morning. How much I love ah ma's internet! It works with such a fast speed that left me impressed. I guess I really have to switch from dial-up to broadband. And yes, my hands are itching. Jen left at 12pm for her training in school. SJAB will be having a competition tomorrow, so jiayou to all! Our concert band is having an outdoor performance at Esplanade tonight, jiayou! ^-^

Han, Ah Ma and Buor settled their lunch at Pizza Hut. Didn't had much money with me, plus I had lunch waiting for me at home, I watched them eat. But my dear was kind enough to give me her mushroom soup to drink! Thanks laogong! =) Accompanying you is my pleasure! Yes, you look really mature! That goes without saying...

And yes, the Singapore Hit Awards will be broadcast tomorrow and not today... -sob- Anyway, I still look forward to it! =) 7pm tomorrow @ Channel 8! For fans of Chinese Music, remember to catch it!

Went for a game of badminton with my younger sis. Ha. It's been a long time since I ever played badminton at the park near my house. =) Well, it's a nice game! I discovered that I actually improved a lot in my skills compared to previous games in school that left Jin-E really terrified to play with me. o_O

And guess what? I saw a shooting star together with my sis! She was the one who spotted it first and patted me excitedly on the arm, exclaiming at the same time! =) Of couse, my head sprung up and saw it in time for a wish! A really bright orange one that streaks across the sky, leaving it's print. When I came home, I realized that Han really knows me very well. She guessed what my wish was. At the very first guess -impressive- =) *Han... ssshh.. tell no one ok? Yar, just let it remain as our secret.

Ok. Our dear Weekiat was made both a public and private apology to me, one through my tagboard and the other through sms. Yes, don't worry, I will forgive your pranks. Mmm... actually you've done a lot for me for the past 1 year, like cheering me up when I am really down, little treats etc. Those really touched me. So, I should graciously treat this as a little play from you! Heez. =) But, seriously, I am really glad that you admitted!

Tomorrow, I will be at ah ma's (Li Yue) house for our Chinese powerpoint project. Meeting Han at Chinese Garden MRT station early in the morning! =)

AND YES, not forgetting, IT'S JIN QU JIANG TOMORROW (Singapore Hits Awards)!!!! I will be the first one waiting in front the television at 7pm sharp! Don't forget to catch it! F.I.R, Yan Zi, Fish, ENERGY, Faye, Lee Hom, Tanya etc...

Han called me from Mediacorp and said that she flopped the entire audition because of her bad self-introduction speech which was imbedded with 'er..s' and 'arh..s'. Hey laogong, don't worry ok? Yep, I believe you did well in the reading section. It's ok to make mistakes every now and then, so learn from them! =) Don't worry too much!

Opps... I have just found out the person who impersonated "you wei" in my tagboard. I am extremely shocked when I found your com's IP matching "his". [Did you really do it? You want to own up before I confront you?] I just went to Han's blog and found a message by You Wei. -shocked again- O_O Han, please check the IP of the message and get back to me asap ok?

Humph. laylay went to watch the cinderella movie today. whoa... so envious! I heard that it's nice. =)

Made pizza this morning. Well, at least the dough is cooked now. =) Yummy.

Yesterday was the last CO practice we will have before our end-of-year examinations.
Well, we were welcomed with a bad surprise when Si Tu lao shi copied those scales on the board. AND, it's to be played at a speed of 88-120. This is madness. I think I can give Grade 3 up. I guess playing at da zhu will suit me better. Grade 3 seems like Grade 6 to me. o_O

Laylay didn't come for CO, kind of lonely without her. Found out that she had a fever... *you ok dear? Hope so... Take care ok? =)

Mmm... Han decided not to go for the jteam audition. Ok, never mind. You will have unlimited chances in future yea? Just don't give up and continue to pursue your interest with passion, including Him ok? -winks!- I know my laogong can do it! Well, go read her blog, she has an interesting experience with Yue Qiu today. Heez. =)

I am glad you aren't crying anyone. Pick yourself up and be strong again. Be the cheerful girl again! Glad to see you so optimistic about yourself and the future! Love ya. =)

AND to all, mmm... Let me make myself very clear. I am not getting married, so don't expect yourself to be invited to my wedding. =) [Don't know what I am referring to? Go check my tagboard out!]

-inspirational story for all-

A well-known speaker started off his seminar
by holding up a $20.00 bill.
In the room of 200, he asked,
"Who would like this $20 bill?"
Hands started going up.
He said, "I am going to give this $20 to one of you but first, let me do this.
He proceeded to crumple up the $20 dollar bill.
He then asked, "Who still wants it?"
Still the hands were up in the air.
Well, he replied, "What if I do this?"
And he dropped it on the ground
and started to grind it into the floor with his shoe.
He picked it up, now crumpled and dirty.
"Now, who still wants it?"
Still the hands went into the air.
My friends, we have all learned a very valuable lesson.
No matter what I did to the money, you still wanted it
because it did not decrease in value.
It was still worth $20.
Many times in our lives,
we are dropped, crumpled, and ground into the dirt
by the decisions we make and
the circumstances that come our way.
We feel as though we are worthless.
But no matter what has happened or
what will happen, you will never lose your value.
Dirty or clean, crumpled or finely creased,
you are still priceless to those who DO LOVE you.
The worth of our lives comes not in what we do or who we
know,
but by WHO WE ARE.
You are special- Don't EVER forget it."
Count your blessings, not your problems.
And remember: amateurs built the ark ...
professionals built the Titanic.
If God brings you to it - He will bring you through it.

This last line is dedicated to Han. Just keep going, don't stop. I believe life has more to offer you. Miracles do happen. Reality may seem cruel to you now, but I strongly feel that the fire in you to pursue him will never cease. If you think it's worth it, follow your heart and go for it. You will never know the outcome. We are all behind you. Jiayou.

" Memory wanders as shadows fall
Back to days of happiness,
Days beyond recall
A vision comes before us
So calm, so dear, so sweet
Passed beyond the mist that binds us here
Into the never larger life
Of that clouded sphere "

Jiayou ba. You know we will be here for you. Rest well and don't think too much. The strength of our hearts will be the pillar of support for you.

Han had been crying non-stop for the past few days, closing to a week. Even as her laopo, I really don't know what to do for her. After reading her lw blog, my heart just goes all out to her. What can I say? Loving someone in a tough way is painful. And yea, it hurts terribly too. It just pricks you deep, beyond your soul, beyond the right state of mind to think. It is always my belief that going into a relationship requires a certain level of maturity, to be able to put yourself into your partner's shoes and sense the varying emotions he/she is going through at the moment. Loving someone takes up lots of energy, time and brainpower. Keeping my schoolwork and family life in balance is already a challenge for me. To me, I am certain that I am not able to handle my life with love imbedded in it yet. At least not for now. So, tasting the power of love will come years later, when I am all ready for it. I hope the future Him will be ready for me too.

(Han, choosing this path of road was your choice and no doubt, you will have to handle the pain it brings you. I can't judge your love for him, as I myself have not been in love. Something to keep in mind: I will be always there for you. I may not be able to talk to you through the phone everyday (you know the reason) but don't underestimate my care and concern for you. Yes, others may have more time to spare for you but I hope that you wouldn't forget someone who is always quietly praying for you here. Take care and try not to drown yourself in sadness (although I know it's tough). Think of him being happy and healthy now, preparing for his examinations. You will be happier this way. Jiayou ba, Han. We all love you. God too. If you can't talk to anyone, just talk to God. He may not be able to take your sorrows away forever, but for that moment, you know you are secure.)

Han called me a moment ago... and was sobbing uncontrollably the moment I took over the phone. Over the next 5 minutes, we didn't converse at all. I kept quiet and allowed her to cry her heart out until she felt better. I guess it's all about Willie again. He is the one and only who is able to reduce the usually-cheerful Han to tears. After reading her lw blog (if you don't know, don't bother knowing.), what can I say? Love in a hard way hurts. Yea, terribly too. I really believe that it takes a certain level of maturity to fall in love and to analyse both yours and your partner's varying emotions and feellings. I am not in a position to judge her love for Willie as I haven't been in a relationship yet. At this age, I am very certain that I can't handle my life with love at the same time. Not yet. Not at this age. Loving someone takes a great deal of energy, time and brain power. I think I will just collapse of fatigue if I commit to that NOW. Juggling both my schoolwork and family time is already a challenge. So, tasting the power of love will come years later, I guess. Jiayou ba, Han. Anything just call or talk to me ok? Don't just keep things within you, it will just explode one day.

A huge downpour came upon us after school, just steps away from the school gate. It caused a frenzy state! Rushed to the nearest bus stop screaming away. ha! Han, Ah Ma, Yue Qiu, Fu Er and I were screaming our lungs out under the HDB flats because of the strong wind that caused my umbrella to turn upside down. For a fleeting moment, I thought I will be blown away with the wind too! o_O We had a hard time persuading Fu Er not to go for her Maths tuition because of the bad weather. Anything may happen. She finally agreed, to my greatest relief! =) On 51, the rain subdued. -bleah- We were all drenched to the skin.

Given my situation now, I have a goal in mind and I will definitely work towards it. I believe I can do it with sheer determination. With a plan in mind and the strong will to do well, I can! GO! I wouldn't let myself down again!

aww... Susilo and Jiawei are a sweet couple! I think I'm drowned in their sweetness too... -daze-
Saw their picture in the front page of today's Straits Times? So sweet. AND, the picture in the sports section where he planted a kiss on Jiawei's cheeks. Their courtship which started two years ago turned to bliss yesterday when Susilo proposed to his sweetheart, hours after her return from the Athens Olympics. She accepted - in tears.

Know what Susilo did? Let me tell you. When they finally had time for themselves at the Changi Airport, Susilo popped the question. He asked what she wanted and she replied:"Nothing, only you." That was Susilo's cue. He teased her by making her go through 4 empty ring boxes first, before whipping out a custom-made diamond ring from The Canary Diamond Company. She cried when she saw it.

Sport brings them together, love blossoms, and now they will share lives. Isn't that a match made in heaven?

Had a headache when I woke up yesterday morning, so I didn't go to school. Thanks to Han, Lay, Joel, You Wei, Weekiat... They were concerned about me. Thanks. Really appreciate it! =) Was feeling better, so I went to Benji's house with Joel for our annual gathering. Bought Chips Ahoy! for Benji as a gift, so I was late and Joel was waiting impatiently at Bukit Gombak for me. -bleah- Songhua was held back in school because of choir... so we started the game of Risk. Turned out that Joel's the winner. O-O anyway, Songhua came too, panting away. After pizza (Thanks to Benji's mum!), we went down to have a game of badminton. (That reminds me of Susilo again!) hee... had fun, although the wind caused the shuttlecork to deviate in air. =) Joel finally won a round of racing game. whew~ It's time for home. Nice gathering there... reminds me of primary school life. Time really flies right? It's like we've just taken our PSLE and in a twinkle of an eye, O levels just around the corner.

Happy Teachers' Day to all! Esp. Mommy, Mrs Susan Goh, Mr Suria and Mr Ang!!! =)

ser.
girl.chinese.singapore.060789.21.
jps.rvhs.rvco.liuqin/zhongruan.
hci06A12.huangcheng2006.<<9>>.
njc06A01.njco.aerius.
ORKO/KUZA.
NTU HSS Sociology Year 3.

loves}
family.friends.
jogging.chineselanguage.
oil painting.chinese pop music.
breakfast.books.writing.beauty sleep.time.
933.baking.gatherings
harry potter.mocha.egg tarts.
ice cream.hugs.shopping.
flowers.

haattess}
backstabbers.SMOKERS.cheaters.
lies.being sick.

WISHES
good health all year round.
40kg.more sleep time.
my own room.
DKNY Be Delicious.
Ice Cream Maker.Canon G12.
Overseas holiday/getaway.