Wednesday, September 15, 2004 @3:51 PM
Dear, thanks for listening to me talk so long about such serious stuff. I guess I am really too stressed out. Yep, I almost thought I wouldn't have the energy to carry on. Why is it so that people can remain so happy and cheerful without having any worries? One day, just one day, to be myself. Throwing everything in the wind without regrets. Will that dream ever come true? I need someone to reassure me of the things that I am trying so hard to achieve. I feel so tired and bruised. Screaming on top of my lungs and nobody in the room hears my plea. I am this girl who is buried under layers and layers of dirt, and the more I dug, the more painful it is.
I sit here enveloping myself with this evanescent shadow of loneliness, hoping that it would just sweep away.
I am so tired of pretending that I am tough, I am so tired of pretending I don't need anybody. [cried typing this entry]
Alas, I found my beloved lost watch back! And it turned out to be hidden in my waterbottle's container. Thanks dear for abandoning the IRP period to accompany me in the search of my lost watch. hee i think I need to make a trip down to the General Office to cancel my report. Dear even looked through the space between the wall and the lockers... really thanks for worrying about it with me, even though it doesn't concern you. :) I feel much more secure with it!
Mrs Goh is so sweet... I just simply love her. I feel that she has known me for ages, she saw through me, the true me. Now, I feel so transparent. She sensed my stress even without talking to me about it.
[extract from an email]
"I am very worried for you cos you always give yourself a lot of stress and you always want to seek for perfection. Dun be over-stressed cos studies is not everything in life. Your family and friends will always be there for you. Of course, not forgetting me as well."
Got back progress report today. L1R5: 13. Failed Physics. Overall, everything can be better.
I will try again.