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Wednesday, December 22, 2004 @5:02 PM

For the past month + this few days, I've been writing X'mas cards to those who really mean something in my life. Good friends, teachers etc. Through this writing process, I've been thinking alot about people too. Are people these days getting aloof, cold-blooded and unsentimental?

I've spent a lot of time on these cards, writing my genuine feelings and thanks to them for making my life more meaningful and colourful. What've written really meant a lot to me. But what really hurts me when I told them that I've a card for them & when they'll be free to get the card, the reply is, "huh? REALLY AR? orh...." Not only one of them, but many. In the split second of their reply, my heart really did shattered, maybe into million of sharp pieces that couldn't be heard. The feeling? Numb. What's worse is that I've to regain fast enough right in front of them, not allowing them to detect the slightest change in me. Maybe, people nowadays take cards like this for granted or even worthless.

Not even a word of "Thanks!" or "Merry Christmas!" or a hug. How sad. My sis said that maybe I haven't done enough to touch their hearts for that phrase to escape from their mouth. My sis's batch of people seem more grateful for friends around them, sending cards by post or sms-ing just to say "Hey! I've received yr card. Thanks a lot! Merry Christmas to you too!" to thank my sis for filling almost the entire free space in the card with heartfelt thanks and gratitude for their presence in her life. How touching. Some may feel that this isn't anything or they can do better than this, but why, why is that so I can't get such heart-warming response from you?

I'm dishearted. Up to now, only one really did care and thought about me, it really caught me by surprise. *Although you may not see this, thanks for the cute Tatty Teddy x'mas card and for the words penned inside + the 99-piece jigsaw that you painstakingly did for me. I really appreciate that.*

One even said last year that he would surely pass me an X'mas card that year. In an twinkling of the eye, another X'mas has arrived, but the card hasn't. What about the promise this year? I don't know what to expect now.

I shall disgress now.

I accompanied my mei to get her posting results. It's confirmed that she's going to RV. Our whole family will be going to RV tomorrow for her registration tomorrow at 8am. Then I'll stay back for CO from 1-4pm.

Merry Christmas to all!

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