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Tuesday, February 08, 2005 @7:47 PM

This has happened before on my birthday, basketball session etc. Now, it's on Chinese New Year Eve 2005. When can we ever stop this? I'm really damn depressed with such bombarding. I always get that, no matter what. I tolerated them, forgot them and forgave them.

If we can't even settle such a simple thing, I seriously don't know what we are doing.

It seems that festivals really really don't like me. That's because something really BAD will happen on these days. Someone please get me out of this pitless hole. We battled through storms, helped each other on the way, but when face with such a situation, I'm totally hopeless. Although I'm not directly involved in this today, hang-ups, blames, faults are just thrown on me. I've forgotten how many I've survived through them, but what I can only remember is that each time, it just adds a cut to my heart, a deeper one.

You never gave me a chance to explain why I couldn't go to town. My answer was "no" because my mum felt that it was extremely rude to leave a relative's house when most of the adults are still having their lunch, some who have not arrived. So, she changed her decision to a "no" for courtesy sake. I accepted that readily because we are the conservative type (Confucian upbringing). It's just like that. A simple reason. But I wasn't even bestowed a chance to explain my situation, seconds later finding myself facing a silent phone. That is the sad part.

On a happier note, we had a cousin group photo today at my aunt's house during the reunion lunch! ha, our first time doing that. =) Reunion dinner was quieter... with only my family, uncle and my grandmother. Having an altar set up soon in the balcony. I'm going to pray for the best in everything and of course, asking Tiangong to reduce the hurt I've always been feeling. -say a prayer-

I await for a better day tomorrow. The first day of Chinese New Year. jiayou ba, serene. Tomorrow will be a better day.

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